A friend (a male friend) and I were discussing Twilight through email recently. I mentioned that he probably hated it because men are unwilling to do the work that Edward does in the book, unwilling to be the guy who Edward is to Bella.
He said that the books had little to offer men. Edward is perfect and Bella is flawed; Edward loves Bella endlessly. This is (loosely) what a woman wants: someone who makes the sacrifices, does and says the right things when she needs him, doesn't mind her mistakes, her flaws, her confusions.
What a man wants is the same. Someone who loves him for who he is, regardless of (perhaps because of) his mistakes, flaws, bad ideas.
We don't like overly-idealized versions of women. Apparently, men don't like it either.
This doesn't mean either sex should lower their standards, of course. It does mean we should realize that what we want is what others want. We want to be sacrificed for, but we can't ask for something in a relationship that we aren't prepared to give as well. And we can't ask a man to love and read these books.